Separation Anxiety vs Separation Frustration

Separation anxiety and separation frustration are often grouped together, but emotionally they are very different experiences for dogs. Understanding the difference matters, because the way we support each one should look very different too.

Separation frustration is driven by wanting access. These dogs want to follow you, join in, or reach something exciting. When they are prevented from doing so, they may vocalise, chew, or protest. However, despite their frustration, they are usually still able to eat, play, and eventually settle once their energy levels drop.

Separation anxiety, on the other hand, is driven by fear. These dogs are not frustrated that they cannot reach you. They are distressed because they do not feel safe when they are alone. Their nervous system is in a heightened state, often preventing them from resting, eating, or engaging with enrichment at all.

From the outside, the behaviours can look similar. Barking, destruction, scratching, or pacing may occur in both cases. The key difference lies in the dog’s emotional state. A frustrated dog is upset but regulated. An anxious dog is overwhelmed.

This distinction is important because strategies that work well for frustration, such as more enrichment or exercise, can fall flat or even backfire when anxiety is present. Anxiety requires emotional safety, gradual exposure, and a pace that keeps the dog under their stress threshold.

There is no shame in misidentifying the two. Many guardians are doing their very best with the information they have. Learning to look beyond behaviour and into emotional wellbeing is a skill, and one that takes time to develop.

Meeting your dog where they are emotionally is always the kindest starting point.

All the best,

Victoria