It's only logical. Or is it?

Many separation anxiety cases begin with guardians believing their dog will eventually “get used to it”. A dog may be left in a crate on the advice of a rescue organisation or previous carer, with no immediate signs of distress noticed. In some homes, neighbours may alert guardians to constant barking or howling; in others, video footage reveals that what seemed like quiet tolerance was actually desperate vocalising, scratching, chewing or pacing throughout the absence.

It can be difficult for guardians to understand why, despite repeated experiences of them returning, their dog still reacts as if abandonment is permanent. The answer lies in the nature of panic disorders. Separation anxiety is not a matter of logic; it is a phobia of being alone. Just as reassurance cannot convince a fearful flyer that a plane is safe, facts cannot convince a dog that being left is harmless. Separation anxiety is a condition driven by overwhelming fear, not stubbornness or lack of training.

The first step in treatment is helping guardians to recognise that their dog is not misbehaving, but experiencing a genuine panic attack. From there, they can begin to appreciate the need for a carefully structured desensitisation plan. This requires starting with extremely short absences — sometimes just a few seconds — and building up in gradual, manageable increments. Progress may feel painfully slow at first, but once the dog begins to tolerate a few minutes, the pace of improvement often accelerates. Small steps become bigger ones: minutes turn into tens of minutes, then into hours.

A useful way of framing this process is through the idea of a “contract”. Guardians commit never to leave their dog for longer than they can currently manage comfortably. Sticking to this promise is essential. If the contract is broken — for example, by leaving the dog longer than they are ready for — the trust that has been built can collapse, leading to setbacks and regression. Just as in human relationships, broken promises have consequences, and rebuilding trust takes time.

Separation anxiety training is as much about supporting the emotions of guardians as it is about helping the dog. The early stages often feel frustratingly restrictive, but the reward is a gradual restoration of freedom for both dog and human. With patience, consistency and adherence to the “contract”, most dogs can learn that being left alone is safe.