Learning to Step Back: Letting Go of the Camera

Many guardians working through separation anxiety training reach a stage where they feel trapped by the process itself. Driving away, truly driving away, can seem impossible unless someone else is there to stay with the dog.

At some point, the walls start to feel as though they’re closing in. The freedom to pop out on a whim disappears, replaced by constant monitoring and anxious glances at the video feed. For some, that moment of realisation comes when the idea of watching one more five-minute absence from a parked car feels unbearable.

Then a thought strikes: what if, instead of sitting there watching, you simply went around the block and came back? What if nothing terrible happened at all?

And often, nothing does. The dog stays calmly on the sofa, resting or chewing, completely unaware of the breakthrough taking place on the other end of the lead. That quiet success can be the start of rebuilding confidence for both dog and guardian.

It’s surprisingly common for people to find it difficult to look away from the video during separation anxiety training. Once you’ve seen your dog panic or hurt themselves, hypervigilance becomes second nature. As one certified separation anxiety trainer explains, we end up needing our own version of desensitisation, learning slowly that it’s safe to look away.

In the same way that a dog learns the guardian’s coat or keys don’t always predict departure, humans need to learn that every glance away from the screen doesn’t mean disaster.

The same principles apply. Choose a time frame that feels manageable. Maybe you can go five minutes without looking. If that feels comfortable, stretch to seven next time. If it feels overwhelming, shorten it again. Progress isn’t linear, and it’s perfectly fine to take small steps.

Be as kind to yourself as you are to your dog. This isn’t about emotional weakness or over-attachment. It’s about trust and about retraining your own nervous system, which has been conditioned to expect distress.

Some guardians use technology to help them take that step back. Apps that send a text alert if movement is detected can reduce the urge to watch constantly. Instead of staring at the screen, they can relax, knowing they’ll be notified if anything changes. It can make a remarkable difference.

Ultimately, learning to step away from the camera is an act of trust, trust in the training, in the process, and in the bond built with the dog. Desensitisation works for both sides of the lead. Over time, minutes apart grow into confidence, and the smallest freedoms start to return, a quick errand, a coffee run, or even a quiet moment of peace.

Progress may come just a few minutes at a time, but each of those minutes represents something powerful: the rebuilding of calm, independence, and trust, for both dog and human alike.

All the best, Victoria