When a Dog Trainer Needed Help Too

This is a coming-out story, but maybe not the kind you’d expect. It’s the story of a dog trainer who couldn’t fix her own dog. There, it’s out.

People say hair stylists don’t do their own hair, teachers don’t teach their own children every subject, and dentists don’t fill their own cavities. But when you’re a dog trainer, it feels different. It’s a point of pride that your dogs greet guests politely, perform a few clever tricks, never eat questionable things in the garden, and certainly don’t have to be chauffeured around for months or years because they’re terrified of being left alone.

It speaks to your credibility. If you can’t help your own dog, maybe you don’t really know how to train. And that’s why it took me so long to hire another trainer. After two years of trying to help Scampi with her separation anxiety, my partner and I realised we needed support.

The Sad Back Story

We found Scampi, her owner didn't want her back so we kept her but we had no background information on her.

We quickly realised she had severe separation anxiety and suspected she had never lived indoors.

Home at Last

We adopted Scampi with no real experience of caring for a complex dog. I was a chef at the time and Colin was a recovery mechanic working 12-13 hour shifts.

Unlike many dogs with separation anxiety we realised that Scampi was ok for a few hours if she was with Biscuit - I cannot stress enough this is NOT the norm and a second dog will not fix SA.

Things got easier, we contacted a local behaviourist who talked us through desensitising triggers and told us to leave her with a kong or lick mat (this advice is now outdated).

Life After Regression

In 2022 we moved from west Sussex to south Wales.

Sadly it became clear very quickly that Scampi was not coping, even with Biscuit.

At this stage I was a dog walker running my own business and Scampi was able to come everywhere with me, but I knew it wasn't sustainable.

That’s when I contacted a specialist trainer who explained the new methods of training a dog with SA, sub threshold training and desensitisation. She was calm, kind, and clear. With her support, we built on the solid foundations Scampi already had. Slowly, progress came back. A few weeks later, we were back where we left off: Scampi could relax alone for up to four hours with Biscuit, and we no longer felt the need to check the remote camera every five minutes. (This is also how I gained most of my experience with separation anxiety clients as I shadowed this trainer on all of her cases!) Living with a dog with a serious anxiety disorder changes you. You tune into their body language, analyse every sound, worry about their appetite, and question every small change.

It’s exactly what our dogs do when they see us put on “leaving clothes” instead of pyjamas, reading patterns, searching for meaning, and bracing for what comes next.

Takeaway Lessons

This experience made me who I am as a trainer today. I’ve been lucky to learn from incredible mentors and know firsthand what real anxiety feels like, for both dog and human. But when things get emotional and progress feels endless, there’s nothing like a fresh pair of eyes to bring perspective, structure, and encouragement.

Now, when I speak to guardians considering tackling separation anxiety on their own, I tell them it takes three things: an understanding of gradual desensitisation, the willingness to go at the dog’s pace (which always feels slower than you want), and the kind of daily consistency that most of us can only aspire to.

Some people are wired for that relentless discipline, the ones who go to the gym every day, rain or shine, never skip a routine, and always read the fine print on food labels. That’s not me! All the best, Victoria