When Grief Looks Like Regression: Scampi, Separation Anxiety, and Losing Biscuit

On the 13th of December, we said goodbye to our beloved Biscuit Boo Bear.

Writing that still feels surreal. Biscuit wasn’t just our life, she was Scampi’s sister, her constant, her safety net. And while we expect grief to be hard on *us*, I don’t think we talk enough about how deeply it can affect the dogs left behind.

Since losing Biscuit, Scampi has had a huge regression in her separation anxiety.

"But she was fine before…”

This is the part that can feel the most confusing and frustrating for guardians.

Scampi *was* fine before.

She coped beautifully with being left when another dog was in the house. She’d even been left with just Ludo previously and managed absolutely fine. On paper, nothing had changed enough to explain the sudden panic.

Except… everything had changed.

Scampi hasn’t just “lost a housemate”. She’s lost her emotional anchor. The dog who made being alone tolerable. The presence that told her the world was still safe when humans left.

What looks like a regression is actually grief.

Grief in dogs doesn’t always look how we expect

Grieving dogs can look:

* withdrawn or flat

* restless and unsettled

* more clingy than usual

* less resilient to things they previously coped with

For Scampi, grief looks like not being able to cope home alone right now.

Ludo is wonderful, and he offers comfort in his own way, but he isn’t Biscuit. And at the moment, he simply isn’t enough for Scampi to feel safe when she’s left.

That isn’t a failure.

It isn’t stubbornness.

It isn’t “bad behaviour”.

It’s a nervous system that’s lost something vital.

So what are we doing?

We’re going gentle. Really gentle.

Right now, we’re:

• Limiting home-alone time as much as possible

• Lowering expectations instead of trying to “push through”

• Meeting her where she is, not where she used to be

• Letting her grieve, rather than asking her to cope before she’s ready

There is no rush. There is no timeline she needs to meet.

In a few weeks, when *both* of us are ready, we’ll begin rebuilding with door-to-door separation training. Slowly. Compassionately. At Scampi’s pace.

Because training doesn’t work when a dog is overwhelmed by loss.

This is your reminder too

If you’re reading this and thinking *“my dog used to cope”*, please know this:

Dogs don’t reset after loss.

They don’t “bounce back” on a schedule.

And needing more support after grief is not regression – it’s communication.

Sometimes the most ethical, effective thing we can do is pause, protect, and prioritise emotional safety over progress.

Scampi doesn’t need fixing.

She needs time, support, and understanding.

And that’s exactly what she’s getting ✨

All the best, Victoria